That moment when you desperately want to hold on to something - is the exact moment when you need to let go. If you can let go and not try to control in that moment, you will have more. Abundance will flow. Holding on keeps you tightly closed off and unable to receive the very thing you desire.
Spray Dark Wolf and ask it to help you let go, forgive and open up your heart to receive more. You can also ask that it heal those issues in all your lifetimes.